The week in review

The neighbor kid left on a 5-week trip with her family this week. I confess I’m grateful for the break. In the past week she invited herself over for dinner multiple times, made a mess of my deck with a craft-project-turned-nightmare, told my daughter that freckles are ugly, and took the liberty of explaining to my child the concept of ‘slavery’ (worst history lesson I’ve ever heard). Maybe it’s just my freckles talking, but I’m hoping they enjoy their trip so much they extend it.


I went shopping this week for the first time in forever. Apparently these pants, and others like it, are now in style:


Who is responsible for this? Had I known, I would’ve just stayed home and sewn my own pants out of old pillowcases. Also, I don’t understand fashion.


For Father’s Day I gave my husband a trash grabber. You know, one of those giant picker-upper sticks that you always wonder, Who the hell has one of those things? Now we do.

It was one of the most well-received gifts I’ve ever given him. He practically leapt out of his seat when he saw it. I think he even started clapping. Granted, this is the man who gave me a battery charger and recycling bins for our first Christmas together (romance!), so perhaps his definition of a ‘great gift’ is slightly askew from the norm.

Now we spend our evenings walking around the neighborhood picking up trash. My daughter plays the role of Garbage Scout, running ahead to find wrappers, scraps, and if we’re lucky – the discarded contents of an entire Jack in the Box meal. By the way, WHO are the people in this day and age who finish their meal and then toss the rest out the window?! I guess they are my neighbors, that’s who.


If you are in the market for a family activity and/or gift and/or reason to make your neighbors stare at you, I highly recommend a trash grabber. Yes, it teaches kids to care for the environment, and that is wonderful. But it also offers the opportunity to teach them about the dangers of things like smoking, drinking and sex. We’ve already found countless cigarette butts, a few beer cans, and I am dreading the day we encounter a used condom. By now you are probably asking yourself – Where the hell does she live? A dumpster? Apparently yes, I do.


Remember when I said I was attempting to start a garden? Well guess what. I did it and it’s actually growing! The other night we enjoyed a tasty salad using garden-fresh lettuce.


We also added beef to it because we are not rabbits. (apologies to any vegetarian readers)

Seriously if I can successfully cultivate a garden, anyone can. I have accidentally pulled out crops when I meant to pull weeds, and I routinely ask questions like, “So where’s the part we can eat?” I am clueless. But it’s been surprisingly easy.*

*My husband did the hard stuff. He also made the salad. I am just taking credit for it all because he doesn’t have a blog.


I had 1 good hair day this week out of 7, so this new cut is really working for me. My husband may or may not have said I looked like a Muppet the other day. He may or may not have been right. He also may or may not wake up to discover a trash grabber clamped on his man bits if he doesn’t ease up on the hair commentary.

I did some stuff

Phew that last post had more views than any other post I’ve written. I’m not going to lie – I almost quit blogging just to make sure I end things on a high note. I don’t want to let the success go to my head, but I’m curious – how do I go about getting paid for that post? Will someone be sending me a cashier’s check? Is it via direct deposit, or ? If someone could let me know, that would be great.

Actually I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been attempting to be productive in other areas of my life. I know – it’s weird for me too.

I’ve fallen victim to the gardening trend and am trying to start one. Right after I finish pulling out the ten million weeds that have taken over this hellacious plot of dirt.


My back hurts just thinking about it. I was asking my husband some gardening questions the other night, which were apparently so dumb he thought I was joking. Am I the only person who didn’t realize that a pea seed would look like a pea?? Don’t answer that.

I also bought the ingredients to make some muffins…

And I’ve been working on my drawing skills. On Easter I made this rabbit.


Those were supposed to be paws, not breasts. I’ll keep practicing.

I’ve also been spending time outside enjoying an unusual stretch of sunny weather that makes me giddy. Mmmmountains.


But the real cherry on the cake of my achievements is again related to sewing. I know – it’s weird for me too.

I found this cute project for fabric toy bins. I thought I’d give it a shot. Dare to dream, you know?

I bought remnants at the fabric store – which, incidentally, is my new favorite hangout. The ladies who buy fabric on a Wednesday afternoon are the chattiest crew in town. And one of the saleswomen looks exactly like my grandmother. It’s uncanny. I wanted to stick her in my stroller (she would fit) and take her home. I still might.

I stared at the fabric for a week. Then yesterday while my daughter napped and my other kid made curtains for her dollhouse, I fired up the sewing machine and went guns blazing and made this!


I mean, seriously. Isn’t that cute??

Here’s another angle because I know you are curious.


That thing has lining, yo! And like, a whole bunch of stitches and stuff!

I am so impressed with myself I can barely stand it. Notice that the grainy photos of my family are taken with my cell phone, but I pulled out the nice camera to capture the color and magic of my Fabric Bin.

Next I’m going to make a bigger one for bigger toys. Then I’m going to make a set we can use for soup bowls. Christmas 2013: The Year I Gave Everyone a Fabric Bin.

My newfound interest in crafty things continues to creep me out a bit, but if I have some sort of innate talent – which, who are we kidding, I must* – then I figure it’s my duty to share it with the world.

In the meantime this bin has been put to excellent use.

My two greatest creations (not including my children, of course)

My two greatest creations (not including my children, of course)


*sarcasm, in case you are new here