Damnit I love you people for supporting my haircut without even seeing it. Which of course makes me wonder – what if I post a photo and you see it and think, “Holy shit her family was right. That is awful.”
You should know that I have a history of sketchy hair decisions. For instance The Mushroom of 1994.
Look at those two cuties next to me with their silky, flowy hair and normal height. When you are the tallest of your friends and you have a flat chest, one way to make extra sure you are the least attractive is to cut off all of your thick hair and leave a nice roundish bowl on the top. Take a number, gentlemen.
At least we all had the same killer sense of style. I believe we were on our way to work in the cafeteria. Did I mention I was super cool in college?
I’ve had some time to recover and think about my hair situation. While I do not condone my family’s reaction, I think Leigh Ann nailed it when she reassured me via tweet: “People who can’t handle change: men and children.” Yes. This. Truth.
I have also realized that this new haircut does not suit my ‘I rarely wash my hair’ lifestyle. The Day 2 version of this hairstyle is bad. B-A-D. Half flat and puffy. Half wavy and puffy. No shape, other than looking like a helmet. In fact it looks legitimately crooked. In the interest of proving my point, I took this unfortunate photo:
I mean, honestly. If you saw that coming at you in a dark alley, you know you would run the other way. I considered wearing a hat to cover that mess, but I could barely squeeze it over my hair and it just made me look like a guy with a mullet.
But then yesterday I think I had a breakthrough. I washed it, used an assortment of anti-frizz/pro-curl/anti-move/pro-bankruptcy hair products, dried it with a diffuser for a few minutes, and sat very still for the next 30 minutes. A routine that is very conducive to being with small children all day.
I think it was presentable. I even got a few compliments at my daughter’s preschool graduation. To which I calmly replied, “Iloveyouwillyoumarryme?”
So in the end I may need to start showering more, which would really be a win-win for everyone. Or I will get some new hats.
Note: I don’t know what’s wrong with my face either. Apparently I am incapable of taking a ‘selfie’ with a normal smile on my face.