The neighbor kid left on a 5-week trip with her family this week. I confess I’m grateful for the break. In the past week she invited herself over for dinner multiple times, made a mess of my deck with a craft-project-turned-nightmare, told my daughter that freckles are ugly, and took the liberty of explaining to my child the concept of ‘slavery’ (worst history lesson I’ve ever heard). Maybe it’s just my freckles talking, but I’m hoping they enjoy their trip so much they extend it.
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I went shopping this week for the first time in forever. Apparently these pants, and others like it, are now in style:
Who is responsible for this? Had I known, I would’ve just stayed home and sewn my own pants out of old pillowcases. Also, I don’t understand fashion.
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For Father’s Day I gave my husband a trash grabber. You know, one of those giant picker-upper sticks that you always wonder, Who the hell has one of those things? Now we do.
It was one of the most well-received gifts I’ve ever given him. He practically leapt out of his seat when he saw it. I think he even started clapping. Granted, this is the man who gave me a battery charger and recycling bins for our first Christmas together (romance!), so perhaps his definition of a ‘great gift’ is slightly askew from the norm.
Now we spend our evenings walking around the neighborhood picking up trash. My daughter plays the role of Garbage Scout, running ahead to find wrappers, scraps, and if we’re lucky – the discarded contents of an entire Jack in the Box meal. By the way, WHO are the people in this day and age who finish their meal and then toss the rest out the window?! I guess they are my neighbors, that’s who.
If you are in the market for a family activity and/or gift and/or reason to make your neighbors stare at you, I highly recommend a trash grabber. Yes, it teaches kids to care for the environment, and that is wonderful. But it also offers the opportunity to teach them about the dangers of things like smoking, drinking and sex. We’ve already found countless cigarette butts, a few beer cans, and I am dreading the day we encounter a used condom. By now you are probably asking yourself – Where the hell does she live? A dumpster? Apparently yes, I do.
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Remember when I said I was attempting to start a garden? Well guess what. I did it and it’s actually growing! The other night we enjoyed a tasty salad using garden-fresh lettuce.
We also added beef to it because we are not rabbits. (apologies to any vegetarian readers)
Seriously if I can successfully cultivate a garden, anyone can. I have accidentally pulled out crops when I meant to pull weeds, and I routinely ask questions like, “So where’s the part we can eat?” I am clueless. But it’s been surprisingly easy.*
*My husband did the hard stuff. He also made the salad. I am just taking credit for it all because he doesn’t have a blog.
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I had 1 good hair day this week out of 7, so this new cut is really working for me. My husband may or may not have said I looked like a Muppet the other day. He may or may not have been right. He also may or may not wake up to discover a trash grabber clamped on his man bits if he doesn’t ease up on the hair commentary.
Banana Wheels 
Your garden is lovely, Earth Mother Amy, but as gardens have bugs and worms and slugs and crawly things and potential for snakes, I shall continue to do my gardening in the produce section of the grocery store.
I saw an old lady in a wheelchair use one of those trash grabber things in the grocery store to pluck items off the higher shelves. Something to think about on your next trip to the store….
I did notice in the Amazon reviews that people use the grabber for a variety of things. I used it to pick up a few toys when I first opened it…my husband used it to grab the remote control…it’s a gateway to severe laziness.
Earth Mother Amy. I like it. Pretty soon I’ll use that grabber to help tie dye my clothes and pick up my Birkenstocks.
I cannot garden to save my life. Aside from the lack of interest, I just plain suck at it.
I’m adding trash grabber in the list of ridiculous things to get me dad. As payback for the tennis racket shoes bug zapper he got my husband.
Tennis racket shoes bug zapper? Is that one thing? Or two? Three even? So intrigued I might need to follow up on that one.
Oh, my gawd, you could be married to my husband. We spent the weekend hiking and camping, and the greatest joy he and the kids got, aside from spotting several newts, two salamanders, and umpteen banana slugs was picking up all the trash he could find along the trail. He kept a water bottle he found at the beginning of the trip in his back pocket and just added trash as he found it. Even dangled one of my kids down an embankment to get a crushed soda can.
He really needs a trash grabber.
Also? You’ve complained about not posting enough, but this is four blog posts. Write each bit, schedule them to post on successive days, and you have a week’s worth of posts for the week instead on one monster post that we each comment on just a part of.
Amirite?
Oh nappy, YES you are right. I even thought that myself but then felt like I had no time to write multiple posts but silly me I can just write them all at ONCE and carve them up. Duh. You so smart.
Now go get your trash-loving man a grabber.
Oh, I’m going to. The kids have grabbers but have never thought to use them for trash. Big guy’s getting one asap.
Oh I’m so glad you popped in to remind me that I found you. Damn twitter and the time difference I don’t see anyone anymore and I am SO GLAD that Leighann told me about you.
A) because I adore your gift giving style. A trash picker? You obviously know how much of a freaking hit that will be with 3 boys. They thank you the year I give them all one for Christmas!
B) because I really really like your writing style. And your hair. I had a ‘shroom cut once. I think it was called a ‘wedge’ back then, but that dates me.
and
C) because I think I am truly going to enjoy reading your blog.
Also- the Dutch pants style is absolutely crazy here. They have bright flower patters- but also, elastic gathered ankles that I just.don’t.get. I will have to get a pic for you.
Reason #104 why I would never pass as a European.
Thanks for stopping by! Please take a photo of your boys with their trash grabbers outside a castle someday. 😉
You honestly make me burst out laughing!! The trash grabber is genius, and I am pretty sure I have now found next year’s Father’s Day gift, so thank you for that! :)-Ashley
Oh Amy.
I love you. Best post ever.
a) Ugly-ass floral pants. i. Have. Seen. People. Wear. Them.
2) I love your family’s enthusiasm for picking up trash.
iii) Your hair is super awesomesauce.
4d) I really can’t do numbered lists.
Thank you! Numbers are overrated anyway.
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