Whoo boy I am finding it hard to blog lately. The weather has been amazing so I’ve been outside cavorting with the kidfolk. Unfortunately this subjects me to greater risk of injury because I am a delicate flower. Last week I stepped off a ledge in our yard in my flip-flops and twisted my left ankle. Then I stepped off a different ledge thirty seconds later, and proceeded to twist my right ankle. I have determined that I have weak ankles, or ‘wankles,’ as I shall call them to enhance my sex appeal.
Speaking of wankles, one time I broke a man’s ankle when he picked me up on the dance floor. He lifted me up, and his ankle buckled under the pressure and snapped. He was on crutches for weeks. Surely he had wankles. Surely.
Speaking of not blogging, lately I spend my evenings playing ladder toss in the yard. With family, with friends, or with my husband after we put the kids to bed. I dare say it’s our Game of Choice for Summer 2013.
I like it because there is very low risk of a wankle injury. There are also lots of opportunities to say things like, “Who has the blue balls?” and then wait for me someone to snicker like a 12-year-old. If you come to our house this summer and don’t want to play ladder toss, prepare to sit alone and stare at the walls. And maybe pick up that mess in the kitchen, will you?
Speaking of food I’m stuffing in my face this summer, we’ve eaten what I believe the southern folk call a ‘low country boil’ four times in the past two weeks. My mom became a fan of it in Texas and introduced us to it. Yeehaw. Talk about a dish that suits my skill level – stuff a bunch of potatoes, corn, sausage and shrimp in a pot and voila! This is similar to the recipe she uses, plus onion and lemon. It’s great for hosting guests, and pairs perfectly with Coors Light and ladder toss (we keep it classy up in here).
Speaking of things I like this summer, I know I’m way late on this one – as is usually the case with me – but holy smokes Alabama Shakes is a good band. The singer’s voice is so badass I have a mega lady crush on her.
Well, I guess that’s all I have for now. I still vow to try and stop writing long-winded incoherent posts, but until the rain returns and my wankles are safely under wraps in wool socks and boots, this might be all I can muster. Viva la summer!
Banana Wheels 
You’re hilarious. Wankles with blue balls.
What do they boil in high country?
I want to send my foreign exchange student over to sit alone and stare at the walls. Please?
In high country they replace the shrimp with squirrel.
Yes, you can send her over, but she cannot call me Mommy and she needs to bring her own sugar and salt.
LOL!
When Alabama Shakes was on Letterman- I saw a tweet someone make that said YOU MUST HEAR HER. I normally wouldn’t click a link like that, but this person doesn’t tweet willy-nilly. I was floored. She is beyond words. Glad we agree!
And I want to come drink Coors Light and play your blue ball game. Badly.
Let’s be each other’s foreign exchange student – I’ll come sightsee in Europe, and you can come drink Coors and play blue balls. Totally even.
Do you have cankly wankles? Or wankly cankles? Or just plain wankles?
You always ask the deep questions. So help me, I hope it’s just wankles.
I’ve been missing you and your wankles! Is that weird? It’s totally weird.
I having a hard time too this summer. Between other freelance and just life, if I don’t have other work to do, I would really rather watch a movie or read. My girls start kinder in the fall, and I know I’ll have more time than I know what to do with.
My wankles were missing you too! They say hello. Let’s start a kindergarten support group in the fall.
The funny thing is we love, love, love the ladder game and Coors, you just made it even more appealing. Hope you weren’t kidding about what a kick you get about the balls jokes. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, sounds like we need a double date night soon.
Oh how I would love a double date night with double the blue balls jokes. XO
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hello! I’m visiting thanks to my buddy Farrah! And I’m glad she is crushing on you. What a great site. I don’t like coors lite but I’ll gladly bring my own beer and gladly keep score how many blue balls you’ve hung.
Oh and Alabama….better late than never.
One more oh….where do you live??? It is too hot to go out here in MD….97 today. yuck.
Welcome! Thanks for stopping by! I’m in Seattle. High temperatures here are usually in the low 80s, which is my limit. Anything hotter than that and I melt.
You are so freaking hilarious!!! Wankles. The. Best.
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