Welcome to the PTA, sucker

I done did it now. I joined the PTA as a Board member. I’m in charge of all PTA communications including their website. I know, right? Me – in charge of a website? Have you seen mah clunky blog and third grade technological skillz?

Fortunately things are off to a great start. Today marked my first attempt at distributing a mass email using the PTA’s snazzy platform. I only effed up once, forcing me to then re-send the same email four hours later with a neat message pointing out my error and necessary correction to 400+ people.

I cannot adequately explain the painfulness of this type of error for me. It hurts my insides. It’s also far too reminiscent of my early career days, which then gives me flashbacks to my mid-20’s, which trust me – no one should have to endure.

On the upside, I’m guessing they won’t ask me to take over as PTA President anytime soon.

What else is new, Amy? asked no one. Well, my headaches have finally left the building. Amen.

Also, my mom came to visit last week. She cleaned out my hall closet and was disturbed to discover that I am a mild severe hoarder of bags. IMG_20140115_144914_120

She made me throw away 90% of them. Of course I just know that tomorrow will be the day I’ll wish I still had that large Pottery Barn bag I had kept since 2002.

That’s about it for now. Honestly I’m just blogging as a means to distract myself from thinking about that damn PTA email. What about cats? Does anyone want to talk about cats? Or Justin Bieber? I see he’s gotten himself into trouble with the po-po. Ok, fine I’ll go find something else to do – but shoot me a text if you want to talk about cats or the Biebs, ok? Mmkay.

Tick tock goes the alarm clock

Sweet Betty I am struggling to keep up with life as we round the bend toward the end of summer.

Kindergarten hasn’t even begun yet and I am already worn out by it. Seriously what the hell is up with school supplies? How is it possible that my child does NOT need pencils for school, but she DOES need paper plates, plastic baggies (two sizes) and baby wipes. Sounds more like a meth lab than a classroom. I bought the pencils anyway, because even a meth lab needs good writing utensils to track production and purchase orders. That’s how you buy drugs, right? Fill out a purchase order?

We went to a kindergarten kick-off play date the other night and I naively told the PTA president that I might be interested in joining. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I think it might be my new Mom Hair.

Speaking of which, I gave my family the big middle finger and got another haircut tonight. That’s right, bishes. CUT IT MOAR. This version is actually shorter than the first one. So short, in fact, that my stylist had to shave my neck, which I swore I would never again allow. Bzzzz. My husband and daughter have both already made negative comments about it, so I think I’ll return tomorrow and get the sides shaved. Bzzzz. DO NOT PROVOKE ME.

I am actually looking forward to the structure and routine that kindergarten will bring to our lives. Don’t tell anyone, but for the past year and a half, I have not set my alarm clock. Not once. And it has been the greatest year of my life. Not just because of the alarm clock thing (although c’mon, that’s been rad). It’s been amazing to spend this time with my kids and just live life day by day.

I’ve discovered that I’m pretty good at living in the moment. When I had a crazy job with high demands, I often assumed I was a Type A personality. Because that’s what it takes to live that lifestyle. Go go go!

But as it turns out, I think I am more of a B-/C+ personality. I don’t really mind if I don’t shower. I enjoy wearing the same two outfits all week. No stress! I rarely have a plan for the day when I wake up. Many days I don’t even know what I’m making for dinner until 4:30. As my husband can attest, it shows.

I have been riding the wave and loving it, but I must admit that I’m ready for a bit more discipline in my life again. So I’ve been on an organizational bender, buying new calendars, storage bins, and alas – using my alarm clock again. I’m learning how to pack lunches (how many PB&J’s can a child eat in a week before she OD’s?) and heaven forbid, I even made a casserole earlier this week AND FROZE AN EXTRA ONE FOR LATER. BAM! Suck it, Martha.

I have no doubt that I will crash and burn by the end of Week 1 once school starts. But at least I’m going into with some momentum and a hairstyle that says, “My child is an honor student.” Or maybe, “I have 50 cats under my bed.” Whatever. I need to stop blogging now – only 6 hours until my alarm goes off!