How to throw a bipartisan Thanksgiving

I don’t know about you, but in the wake of this week’s election I am now gearing up for a potentially more daunting challenge – preparing to host Thanksgiving for a family made up of vocal Republicans and Democrats.

Fun! Said no one ever.

I momentarily considered cancelling the holiday to avoid the inevitable political trash talking and grumbling, but instead I am going to focus on creating an agenda and menu that will unite even the most divided among us.

Below are my tips for throwing a successful, peaceful bipartisan Thanksgiving:

1. Welcome guests with a warm hug and a glass of their favorite wine/beer/cocktail to take the edge off.

2. Tell a few humorous, non-political stories to bring everyone together and foster a spirit of love and laughter.

3. Quickly serve a meal that includes green bean casserole. Because duh.

4. TAKE AWAY THE BOOZE BEFORE ANYONE REACHES DRINK #3 AND SEND THEM HOME WITH A TO-GO CONTAINER OF PUMPKIN PIE.

Seriously. Kick them to the curb before things takes a turn for the worse, which in my experience is usually somewhere between dessert and the post-meal naps. That’s when everyone starts to feel punchy and bloated – a lethal combination, as evidenced by me, once a month, for 5-7 days.

Whoever said Thanksgiving has to be an all day festival was a masochist. Or from a nonpartisan family.

Give it three hours, and then Shut It Down and enjoy an evening alone with a good book. Or if you’re me, an entire season of The Walking Dead. Gobble, gobble.

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