Ho ho hold me

I have a major case of Christmas/writer’s block. I am associating the two with one another because HOW ELSE do you explain my simultaneous inability to a) type a single thought, or b) get my shopping done. It’s maddening – MADDENING I TELL YOU – like I have some sort of brain fog clouding my every move. It’s not that I’m short on thoughts – NO NO NO – in fact at this point I have so many thoughts there is a backlog, a traffic jam, a jumble of ideas all scrambling to get out of my head before I go crazy so I have to apologize for the verbal diarrhea I’m spewing with this post but I just need to get some of the crazy out and clear room for the more functional thoughts that REALLY need to come forward so I can finally embrace the Christmas spirit and GET SOMETHING DONE. Sorry for all the yelling.

On a lighter note, I made rice krispie wreaths yesterday FOR THE WIN.


Nevermind that I caught my kid picking her nose right after she molded a wreath. Dang kids are gross sometimes. After a thorough handwashing I assigned her to berry application instead.

Until then my only holiday baking had been helping my kid with her Shrinkie Dinks, WHICH incidentally are just as rad as I remember them being in 1981.


Check out this cute Christmas tree filled with teeny tiny ornaments!


My daughter loooved them. Pretty sure Santa will bring some in his sack. Er.

On the holiday decor front I hit a stumbling block when I opened our stockings and found this one:


Who the hell is Nora? Last year at this time I was 9 months pregnant with a child I had intended to name Nora. But we changed it at the last minute, in part because I could not – COULD NOT – get past my annoyance that a couple on the show Parenthood had a baby and named it Nora and stole my name. Dumb, I know. I have issues. Anyone know a Nora who needs a stocking?

Speaking of stockings, I find it interesting that I feed, clothe, bathe and care for two children every day of the year, but for some reason when I see their names on stockings hanging over the fireplace it hits me like a ton of bricks that, “Holy crap those are MY kids!” Parenting is so surreal sometimes.

Sheesh I’m feeling better already. What else?! WHAT ELSE can I get out of my system?

Did I mention that my now almost-1-year-old has never – NOT ONCE – slept an entire night? I looked in the mirror this morning after a night that entailed two dead tired sessions of rocking/coaxing/begging her back to sleep and thought, “Who is that tired old hag?” That’s me!

I am a creature who loves to sleep, as per my pre-children love affair with naps. This year of no sleep is taking a mothereffing toll on me. I love my baby more than I ever dreamed I could, but c’mon kid! Give it a rest!

But today I decided I’m tired of being a victim of being tired, so despite my fatigue and sluggishness I just exercised for the first time in eons. WATCH OUT WORLD.

Before we had kids I had brief period of fitness in which I went to the gym every morning before work. When I came home, I was HYPER and PRODUCTIVE and a MANIAC all hopped up on endorphins. My husband referred to it as my version of Roid Rage.

As I am typing this, I am fueled by a case of this Roid Rage which will surely be followed by a painful crash so I better wrap up this wonderful – AWARD-WINNING – post before I hit the wall.

Also I think now I understand why some people say blogging is like therapy. THE END.

10 thoughts on “Ho ho hold me

    • Totally! I had a burst of energy that got me through making dinner. But now I am crashing fast and off to an early bed. Which I should do more often anyway to survive the non-sleeping child.

  1. My daughter still wakes up some nights at 2.5 years of age. I am very familiar with the sleep deprived, old hag you encountered in the mirror. Remember when we were able to sleep and think and be somewhat normal human beings? I miss those days.

    This post cracked me up.

    • I miss sleep so much it seriously hurts to recall the feeling. But I do find comfort knowing so many others share my pain. Especially the ones who lived through it and are now enjoying sleep again. There is hope! And in the absence of that, there is caffeine.

  2. Quickly…neither of my kids slept through the night even once before age three. In case your readers don’t know, my youngest is still younger than 3. So I haven’t slept through the night in about 7 years. I hate sleep interruptions. HATE THEM.

    Sorry for the shouting. But bear with me…SHRINKY DINKS STILL EXIST?! I LOVE THOSE THINGS and get all weepy and nostaligc when I think my kids will never do shrinky dinks. But they can? We can? Oh, holy night, you have just made my holiday.

    Thanks. Gotta go hit amazon for shrinky dinks.

    • Oooh I have heard that this non-sleeping thing can last for years and was hoping someone would tell me it’s a myth. Drats. More importantly, I hope you get a full night’s rest soon. And I hope you love the shrinky dinks! It was a close call for who had more fun with them over Thanksgiving – the kid or adults. Enjoy!

  3. I’m extending my virtual arms around you for a mom to mom hug. But not too close ’cause we just met. Found you on Finding The Funny. I’m on it as well. Stop by for a visit. I’m almost half as insane from the holidays as you are. Cheers!

    • Hi! Welcome! How exciting – I’ve never done a linkup before. I feel so fancy now. Thanks for the virtual hug and for saying hi! I will definitely come visit. I’ll try not to bring my crazy.

  4. First of all, the talk to me, Goose just made me laugh out loud! Secondly, this is straight up awesomesauce right here. Came by from the Finding the Funny link-up and so glad I did! 🙂 P.S. I am number 21 on there…you know, magic 21. Not really.

Talk to me, Goose

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