Show me the way, Kenny Rogers

Things are still a little chaotic here at the farm. I don’t live on a farm. Lots of emotions all up in my face every day from both of my kids. When life gets hairy, I seek guidance in the immortal words of Kenny Rogers.

You gotta know when to hold ’em.

I’ve been holding both of my children a lot lately. When all else fails with the new kindergartener, who is experiencing a mild case of Jekyll and Hyde, we hug it out. Because Lord knows if someone took away all my friends and shoved me into a foreign building with a bunch of strangers and said, “Go learn something,” I would not only wet my pants in class, but I’d probably shit them once or twice too.

The toddler gets held because she is a Stage 5 Clinger, and also it is often the only way I can get her to move in the direction I need her to go. Also, p.s. toddler hugs are magically rejuvenating.

Know when to fold ’em.

Lately around 4:00 pm, both of my children explode. The tears are inexplicable and inconsolable. The screams are unending. And the dinner does not get made. The other day after several failed attempts at comforting and reasoning with them, I threw in the towel. I dragged their mattresses onto the living room floor (somehow this simple act brings my children immense pleasure), turned on Caillou, and let them zone out in peace. This is what it looks like when Mommy Gives Up at my house.


Confession: I never let my oldest child watch TV before she was two, for fear it would melt her brain. My youngest is 20 months, and I have intentionally placed her in front of the TV and encouraged her to watch the magic box when I need to distract her. Ahh perspective.

Know when to walk away.

As per the aforementioned kindergarten krazies, lately my 5-year-old has been exhibiting some behavior that is…how shall we say it……..f*cking terrible. Generally speaking we try to discuss and address these incidences as they happen. But the frequency has been so high that I honestly cannot keep up. And my words of reason and consequence are falling on deaf ears anyway.

So, in an attempt to preserve my sanity, I am picking my battles and lowering my expectations. I am giving my kid a Kindergarten Grace Period while she works out her demons. But those demons better get to steppin before Mommy calls an exorcist.

Know when to run.

Amen. Sing it, Kenny. I believe parenthood requires unparalleled commitment, perseverance and patience. I also believe it requires time away and space to breathe. We are terrible at getting babysitters, but I am putting it on the top of my to-do list for this year so I don’t pull a Run, Forrest, Run at 4:02 pm next Tuesday.

Smell ya later, Week 2.

7 thoughts on “Show me the way, Kenny Rogers

  1. the absolute best part of keeping children away from television is that when you really need an hour by yourself, videos are like bacon wrapped filet mignon. For mama.

    It gets better, mama. Hang in there and remember, too, Willie Nelson. “Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys.”
    Seriously? That’s it? Done. Where’s my medal?

  2. I love that you worked Stage 5 Clinger into every day conversation. The Kenny Rogers Method seems like at working well for you. Here’s to a good weekend and week 3.

  3. I am sending my daughter to a babysitter/school/daycare (I can’t put this lady into a categeory because she doesn’t fit into one) a few hours a week and it has saved my sanity. Get the babysitter! It’s weird and awkward at first, but that break changes your perspective. It has made me less cranky-pants!

    Kindergarten is hard. Hopefully your 5 year old will adjust quickly. All of those strangers and new rules and new everything has to be exhausting. My mom said I came home and cried for an hour after school everyday in kindergarten. I think it’s exhausting, especially if you are an introverted type. Anyway, even with my demonic after-school possession I eventually turned out just fine (haha…don’t say it!) so there is hope!

Talk to me, Goose

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