Guess what? Clutterbutt.

A few weeks ago I misplaced two tacos. No clue where they went. It still haunts me and I won’t rest until I find them.

Tacos poster

I’m not sure when I became a grown woman who loses tacos, but it seems like a step in the wrong direction. Today it’s tacos – tomorrow it’s my wallet, my phone or my children. And Lord knows I would die without that phone.

So I’ve been trying to get my act together. Make some plans. Clear my space. Focus my chi. I don’t really know what any of that means, but I do know that it’s been tough. I am the type of person who needs 6-8 hours of solitude to feel like I can accomplish something, so it’s a real struggle to Get It All Done in the 6-8 minutes of solitude that tend to come with parenthood.

Kids, man. They bring loads of joy but they are also little tornadoes, tearing your plans apart and ripping the tacos right out of your hand.

Step 1 of my Operation: Get Your Sh*t Together offensive has been to cut clutter and organize my house. Decluttering is both miserable and soothing. In order to cull through your mess, you first have to make an even bigger mess. Heaven forbid if you need to stop midway through – you might as well just burn your house down and start over.

On the upside, weeding through piles of things lets you rediscover lost gems and relive fond memories. For instance, this failed attempt to create a time capsule with my child circa 2013:

I got this Q&A from Pinterest. I don't know why I bother.

I got this idea from Pinterest. I don’t know why I bother.

Kids are fun. I saved this in her baby book.

I also found this old gal in my underwear drawer.

Spanx are so cuddly.

At least someone is enjoying the Spanx.

Poor thing has been swimming in a sea of old maternity briefs and matchless socks for a year. There are two kinds of people in this world – those who throw out a single sock when its mate disappears, and those who hold on to that sock, holding out hope that there will be a reunion.

And then there are those of us who turn old abandoned socks into doll-sized ski masks.

I should probably be in therapy.

I should probably be in therapy.

I’m not done with the clutter cutting, but I’m making progress. Next up is my closet. I don’t touch 95% of the clothes in there and have been contemplating the best way to cut the excess, other than lighting a match, and then I stumbled on this blog post. It describes my situation to a t(shirt). Ha I love puns don’t judge.

The gist is that you create what trendy fashion people call a ‘capsule wardrobe,’ which is a mini collection of staples that you wear regularly and can mix, but you axe everything else. Errything. This is now my mission. I essentially do it already by wearing the same three shirts each week, I just didn’t have a cool name for it.

I genuinely hope that clearing the spaces around me will help clear my brain so I can focus more and do some things I’ve been failing to do like write, read, exercise, invent something, cut my toenails, mow the lawn, learn to juggle, play the oboe, organize a flash mob…or honestly if I can just find those damn tacos I’d be happy.

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15 thoughts on “Guess what? Clutterbutt.

  1. Ah, I’ve missed you.

    I’ve seen that book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up floating around social media. It sounds like something I would love to read and then forget about. I’m currently working at the dining room table, because my desk is too messy and I don’t want to deal with it. The dining room table is cluttered too, but at least there’s sunlight. My bedroom is a cave.

    • I saw that book too but didn’t want to buy something that would just add to my clutter (I thought this was very enlightened of me), so instead I tried to check it out from the library. I am number 1,080 on the wait list. It seems there are a few of us with clutter issues. I figured I should just go ahead and start without it.

  2. Oh, Amy, I love you so!
    I saw that capsule wardrobe thing! I’d have to have TWO capsule wardrobes, a fat one and a fatter one, because, well, fat.
    TWO tacos?
    I am on a mission to declutter, too, but I get bogged down by getting lost in memorabilia akin to the loving note from your daughter.
    Scary Baby! I lurrrve her!

      • Creepy, Scary – she knows you love her and that’s all that matters.

        I see your point about the two capsule strategy. I also keep certain clothes to accommodate for fluctuations in my size. Maybe I’ll have one capsule in my closet, one in the garage, one in the shed, one in a storage unit…Did I mention I suck at decluttering?

  3. Awww, I’ve missed you and Creepy Baby! All the cool kids are reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. She even talks about how to respect your socks (cutting them up into masks for Creepy Baby probably doesn’t count, but I personally appreciate your upcycling efforts)… Good luck w/ those tacos!

    • Hi you! Honestly I had kind of written off that book once the library wait list surpassed 1,000 but you have re-piqued my interest with this talk of sock respect.

  4. OMG HOW DID I MISS YOU POSTING!!!
    You need to blog more.
    This isn’t a request, it is an order.
    And scary baby!!!!!!
    Omg this validated my rainy, crappy Monday.
    LIFE IS GOOD.

  5. Holy Hilarious Batman! (and Batman may be needed to save that Barbie from the creep next to her, and her bad hair) My friend’s school district is having a rescue mission fundraiser and they are even taking orphaned socks and stained clothing…how am I ever supposed to throw anything away in my decluttering now?!?! (p.s. I landed here today at Kari’s suggestion!)

  6. The fact that you lost two tacos makes me like you even more. We had to offer a reward this year so that we could find the missing Easter Eggs.

  7. Did you look for the tacos in the CreepyBaby drawer?
    My house is filled with children’s toys and things and frigging artwork from school (which I shove into a drawer). HELP.

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