There’s a list for that

Lately my daughter loves to make lists. Grocery lists, lists of animals, list of toys – you name it. She’ll list it.

I readily admit that this is a habit she picked up from me. I am an avid list developer. Right now in my sight there are four, no five, different lists that I have created. Mostly to-do lists. But when one gets too long, I’ll start another and try to keep it more focused.

  • This one will be my to-do’s just for today vs. to-do’s for the month.
  • This one will be my to-do’s for my blog (I am a lazy blogger…I don’t even tag my posts. Tsk tsk. But I intend to. Someday. It’s on my list.)
  • This one will be my to-do’s for the house.

And so on.

You may be thinking, “Hey Amy, I bet if you spent time completing some of those to-do’s instead of just making more lists, you might actually get something done.”

Good point. Let me write it down on my List of Ways to Be More Productive. Thanks.

Sometimes my daughter likes to write the lists herself (we tell her how to spell the words), and other times she prefers that we do the writing while she dictates. And believe me, she can be a dictator.

Written by Daddy, dictated by daughter

In the past couple weeks, we’ve noticed signs that she is starting to read words here and there – including on my lists. Now, I don’t want to overstate anything, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE THIS MEANS SHE IS A GENIUS.

I also can’t help but wonder if all this list-making isn’t partly responsible. I mean, how many times can the girl make a list of princess fairies, or things to buy at Target, before she is capable of passing the GED?

You see what I’m doing here? It’s called spin. I am making you believe that my unproductive and ineffective habit is teaching my child to read. Next thing you know you’ll be paying me to make lists with your kid too.

Of course the only downfall of a child who can read, is that she can read. By that I mean, you can’t go writing lists of swear words anymore or Lil Miss Spelling Bee will find it and start calling you a c*cks*cking motherf#cker.

Amy, do you really make lists of curse words? Maybe you should see a therapist about this.

I may also have to start thinking twice before using the oldest parenting trick in the book. When my husband and I want to say something to one another incognito, we spell it out.

“Let’s have some i-c-e c-r-e-a-m after the kid goes to bed.” “Where is the c-a-n-d-y I hid in the cupboard?” “You’re acting like a real a-s-s-h-a-t.”

But for the most part I am excited for my child to learn to read and write. She can start to help me make grocery lists, packing lists for vacation, lists of lists I still need to create. The list of possibilities is endless.

And if the below example is any indication, this girl will invent new categories of lists that I haven’t even thought of yet. This is a list of household dangers written by the little list maker herself.

Mama is so proud. Also a little creeped out about the biting spiders.

6 thoughts on “There’s a list for that

  1. So, this is not the same as the one I just read in my email inbox. I’m not sure how to comment now except to say both versions are funny. I think your child is a genius. Poisonous Biting Spiders are a real danger. I mean, they are poisonous!

    XOXO – Your Fellow List Maker

    • Ha! I know. I couldn’t decide between the two. I liked the condom story, but I made the mistake of showing it to my husband first who thought it was TMI, so I posted the spider one instead. But something went awry in my dashboard and the condom one went up. Eegads. So consider yourself one of the lucky few who knows both. 😉

      • I liked both! Your husband might be right, I don’t know what is TMI, but the condom part was hilarious and very relateable.

  2. As long as your daughter’s lists don’t have condoms…

    I’m a list maker, too. I keep the old lists, too, with about half the items crossed out. Yes, because they help me quickly compose the next list. And to leave me for eternity the shame of having only completed half the list.

    I have forced myself to stick to two lists, always facing each other. To Do, and To Not Do. That way when I run to the list, compelled to start scrapbooking or quilting or making my own peanut butter, I can put the idea on the correct list. Gets it out of my head but doesn’t actually promise anything.

    • That’s a little bit of genius right there. A list of things I DO NOT need to do. BRB I gotta go buy a new notebook for that.

      And no worries, the condoms were not on the child’s list. If that ever happens, I will take away her pen, and freedom, forever.

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