Girl, Interrupted

A few years ago my husband pointed out that I have a tendency to leave drawers and cabinet doors slightly ajar. He was quite frustrated by it, which I found amusing (I mean, this is the man who leaves his dirty boxers on the floor every day without hesitation). I also didn’t really believe him. But then I started to notice it, so I made a conscious effort to stop.

Then the other day I walked into the kitchen and saw this:

It’s baaack. So I wondered – why the hell don’t I close those things all the way? What is happening in my brain that stops me from going that last half inch?

So I paid attention the next time I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. The sequence of events was something like this:

  • Grab can opener for the beans from top drawer.
  • Begin to push drawer closed…”Mommy I’m all done!”
  • Exit kitchen to wipe child’s butt on the toilet.
  • Return to kitchen. Where was I… Ah yes. Dump beans in pot.
  • Open spice drawer. Grab cumin and chili powder.
  • Begin to close drawer…”Waaaaa waaaaaaaaaaa.”
  • Rush to find baby stuck on her stomach. Roll her back over.
  • Return to kitchen. Where was I…Ah yes.
  • Open other drawer to get measuring spoons.
  • {Sound of kid 1 grunting as she pushes kid 2’s exersaucer across the floor…with kid 2 in it}
  • Rush to stop this madness.

Aaaand you get the point. I rarely complete an action or thought. That’s the nature of parenthood. I’m actually surprised by how well I’ve adjusted to this constant state of interruption. Perhaps I’ve adjusted too well.

It goes beyond drawers and cabinets.

I started a family photo wall project. The empty frames sit collecting dust because I haven’t had a chance to pick the photos.

I’ve started two different books in the past few months. I let so much time lapse between readings that I always need to re-read the previous pages to remind myself where I left off. And then I fall asleep before I get any further. It’s like Groundhog’s Day.

I have a button sitting on top of my microwave that I’ve been meaning to sew back on my sweater. For 3 weeks.

And don’t even ask about the office, where I discovered I have a hoarding problem a couple months ago.

Part of my problem has to be sleep deprivation, right? I haven’t clocked more than 3 consecutive hours in 6 months. The fog covering my brain feels much thicker this time than it did with kid #1.

But I am going to turn this ship around.

Today I plan to clean my drawers and make room for summer clothes (we are finally breaking 60 degrees in Seattle – woot!).

And this weekend I am hellbent on conquering the office. It must happen, or we are at risk of losing a small human in that mess.

I am instituting a greater degree of self discipline. I will wake earlier if I need to in order to actually complete things. I must check at least a few things off my list. I need to prove to myself that I can complete something before I

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