I want you to know that I had grand plans to write a fabulous blog post. But sometimes things don’t go according to plan. That should be the motto of my blog.
So in lieu of thought-provoking words that I cannot seem to get out of my head and into a coherent post, I drew some pictures. Because I promised to keep practicing after my accidental boobie bunny. And because quality be damned, I NEEDED TO POST SOMETHING IN ORDER TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AS A HUMAN.
For the past several nights I have woken up in the morning to find that at some point during the night, I put my arms behind my head like this:
When I wake up, my shoulders and arms are so stiff and numb I can barely move them. So. Much. Pain. Who sleeps like this? Why did I start doing it? Am I trying to look cool and casual in my slumber? Hey guys, don’t mind me – just chillin, dreamin and droolin.
I am in a state of perpetual loss lately. I lose every pen I touch. And then I tweet about my missing pens because that is riveting and I deserve an award for my tweets.
I also lost my debit card. No clue where it is. But instead of cancelling it, I just keep checking my bank account to see if someone is stealing my money because I am lazy.
I also lost my daughter’s magnifying glass, but then I found it. Phew.
If you see any of these items, please let me know. Especially the gold pen. I
stole got it from a client’s office and I really really miss it.
Last week I saw this man crossing the street at a busy intersection:
He was old with a long Santa-ish beard and matching hair, but he was thin and dressed like an urban hipster/skateboarder (I clearly do not know how to draw this kind of attire). He even walked with a swagger.
I was so intrigued by the odd mix of characteristics that I am STILL thinking about him five days later. Who is this man? Is he someone’s grandpa? Where was he going?
In hindsight I think I just figured out the answer to that last question. Now that marijuana is legal here, there are a ton of pot dispensaries along the street I was on. I’m betting gramps was on his way to buy some doobage.
Honestly I feel so much better now that I have some closure.
I couldn’t think of anything else to draw but really wanted to do one more, so I drew myself in my current surroundings.
That’s my husband asleep on the couch next to me. Isn’t he cute? Instead of putting his arms behind his head like awesome people do, he crosses them over his stomach like a dead person. He loves to fall asleep on the couch. LOVES.
It looks like I’m wearing sunglasses, but those are just my regular glasses. And I’m watching American Idol while I doodle because I like to torture myself. Actually I really like that contestant Kree. If she gets voted off I’ll stop watching it maybe but probably not.
After seeing how horrible my drawings are, I will go back to using my words. But I can’t lie – I really enjoyed drawing, so I’ll keep practicing that too. You are welcome, America.
Love the little cartoons..lol, you are now famous for it across The Pond too 😉
You know that hip ‘doobage’ grandad you referred to? I saw a lady a few weeks ago in our local Tescos , and the image of her, the sheer IMPOSSIBILITY of what she looked like still haunts me. She must have been in her 70’s, and looked like somebody who have just arrived from the planet Zorg. I have never seen anyone quite like her, not even in London..and thats says a lot.
She had two-tone hair, reminicent of Pepe Le Pew(sic) the little cartoon skunk, was tall and thin as anything..infact she reminded me of that scary tall guy in Twin Peaks, a female(ish) version of him anyway. It is just hard for me to describe her, she was like someone from a alternate universe..hehe. 😛
Can you imagine if my stoner Santa and your Zorg skunk lady had a baby? Positively mesmerizing. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks about strangers long after I see them.
Aaaaargh..let’s not even go there 😉
Don’t stop drawing! If I was in charge of the riveting tweet award I would totally give you one. Have you read the other tweets out there? You have to be in the top ten for rivetingness. It kind of makes sense that Santa would be heading toward a pot dispensary. All of those little elves singing and making toys would drive anyone to smoke after a while…or drink.
This Santa definitely gets high as a coping mechanism. Definitely.
Haha!! Funny, love the illustrations! I am an Idol junkie and Kree is awesome! 🙂
I wake up sometimes with my arms over my head JUST LIKE IN YOUR DRAWING. My arms and shoulders will be so stiff that I fear I will have to walk around all day like I’m getting ready to do a chin up. Which is pretty silly, because I never COULD do a chin up.
No way! Twinsies. Chin ups are so weird they make me laugh. When they aren’t making me cry, that is.
If you stop drawing, the world loses. Just know that. No pressure or anything, but I am pretty sure the world needs your drawings.
Ok, ok. I’ll stick with it for the people of the world. Thank you.
this cracked me up.. loved how you slept – it’s how my oldest slept as a baby! and you’re husband with his arms crossed!?? hysterical. funny pix, you’re quite the artist.
Come to think of it I’ve seen my kids sleep like that on occasion too. It’s far cuter on them than it is on me.
i always thought it just looked like ultimate confident relaxation