Your parents go to Italy and bring back a pop-up Pinocchio book for your daughter. Aw, that was thoughtful. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!
Upon reading it to your child, you discover some glaring grammatical issues due to poor Italian-to-English translations, but dismiss them because – hey, that’s amore!
Then on page 6 you see children laughing and playing, and read the following sentence:
- A man bought [Pinocchio], a man who wanted to drown him, to utilize his skin to make a drum.
Exsqueeze me? Baking powder?
Your daughter asks a few follow up questions, as any curious child would:
- “How do you drown someone?”
- “What does it mean to skin someone?”
- “How do you make a drum out of skin?”
Well sweetie, you can drown someone by holding their head under water, you can skin someone with a sharp knife, and then you could make a drum out of that skin if you stretch it really tightly over a cylindrical object.
Good night. Sweet dreams.
No, that is not how I answered those questions, but WTF, Bookmaking People.
I didn’t think I’d need to proofread my daughter’s books until the tween years, which is totally why I’ve already read the Twilight series, but I guess I was wrong. Lesson learned. Also, never trust Italians.