Most mornings my husband has already left for work by the time I wake up. He starts early, and let’s be honest – lately I’ve been struggling to get my butt out of bed before the kids are up. And when I say “lately,” I mean for the past 8 months. I haven’t used an alarm clock since December. (In my defense, I also haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in 8 months. Thanks, baby.)
But I digress. Point being, I rarely see what he wears to work until the end of the day.
But last night when he came home wearing this, I realized I might need to stage an intervention.
What on earth?! You can’t even tell where one khaki ends and the other begins! The bland color palette isn’t helped by standing against our beige wall, on our brown carpet. It’s like a lifesize Triscuit. What? I don’t know either.
But seriously, if it weren’t for the faint glimmer of a black belt to break up that monotone, you might think he’s wearing a jumpsuit.
The only reason he allowed me to photograph this fashion atrocity is because even he knew it was bad. The moment he entered the kitchen, he saw my eyes open wide as I looked him up and down. Before I had the chance to say anything he muttered, “I know. This looks terrible, doesn’t it.” On the upside, we shared a good laugh about his cracker outfit (cracker like a Triscuit, not a racial slur).
To be fair, I am no fashionista. My forte, if I have one, is jeans and turtlenecks. I always struggled to find work clothes that felt both comfortable and stylish. I hated collared shirts, loathed most dress shoes, and wanted to set the house on fire the few days I had to wear a business suit.
So I sympathize with the challenge of finding work attire. And it can be even more challenging for men, without the ability to mask a blah outfit by throwing on a cute scarf. (Some men can probably rock a handsome scarf, but my husband is not one of them. His clothing taste is khakis and button ups. Peas and carrots. Vanilla and vanilla.)
Fortunately he welcomes my input, and is open to shaking things up with a shopping spree. But there are a few obstacles, namely a) I am so unplugged from the work clothing scene that I lack insight and inspiration for what may look good, and b) our budget is tiiiight.
Last week one of my former coworkers told me she got loads of compliments on a dress she recently bought at JCPenney. She said their recent makeover led to some cute stuff and it’s all pretty cheap prices. So maybe we’ll try that.
We also have a gift certificate to Men’s Wearhouse. Can’t turn down free, so that’s a must. But every time I go there, I feel like the salesmen are just one breath away from trying to sell me a vacuum or home appliance. But hey – if I leave with a new Swiffer mop, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
However my main concern is finding items that can add a bit more pizzazz, while still being something he would actually wear. I can’t stomach the thought of spending what little cash we have on 4 new sweater vests only to have them gather dust.
If that sweater vest mention doesn’t strike fear in the heart of fashionable readers, it should. Because that is truly the only thing I can think of beyond his usual peas and carrots. Any ideas? Bueller? If not, stay tuned for an update on this unfolding fashion saga.